By Thuso Masikhwa for Heartmenders Magazine, Contributor, Africa –

I recently discovered that when I am doing something I love and really enjoy, I don’t crave food as much or overeat. I love reading magazines. To me, magazines are like ten great books put together. I find them inspiring, informative and educational. The glimpses they offer into other people’s lives, opinions and perspectives are altogether fascinating.

So, Today, instead of sitting in my office at lunchtime, pushing work I don’t particularly enjoy, I decided to hold myself to a decision I had made some time ago – always to take my lunch break and use it to unwind, doing something I enjoy. So, I drove to a nearby secluded bush area next to some ponds in my work area and parked there, reading a magazine for the duration of my lunch break. I only had a banana and a naartjie for lunch, but I felt refreshed and revitalized enough to go back and face the rest of the day happily and productively.

Conversely, at night after supper, that’s the time I am the most peckish. Usually having just finished a supper of large proportions; somehow, I can’t settle down. Something in me seems so dissatisfied, so unsettled – needing soothing and some satisfaction as if something is missing. I can’t put my finger on what is missing, yet I think a piece of sausage might be it. After I barely finish the sausage, I realize it wasn’t the sausage that was missing. Perhaps it’s a glass of juice. But it turns out it’s not the juice either. I turn to a piece of fruit, then a piece of cheese, and then some leftover meat…

Yet, I still go to bed with the same sinking feeling…something is missing.

Today I thought: why didn’t I rush to devour the contents of my lunch bag as soon as it was barely 12:00, like I usually do? Why was it not the preoccupation of my mind? I had decided the night before that I would spend my lunch that way – a deep need that had been neglected for a while because of time constraints. I placed my magazine of choice on the passenger seat in preparation for lunchtime the next day, and when lunchtime came, I did not hesitate.

Give your product or services the visibility they deserve for optimal patronage! Contact Heartmenders Magazine Media Inc., New York today!

After lunch, I thought, perhaps the real reason I feel so peckish and dissatisfied before bedtime is the frustration and disappointment I feel because it’s the end of another “wasted” day? A day spent not doing what I love doing most-reading, writing, and helping others. A day that I feel I have let myself down yet again. Not spending enough time with my children, not spending any time on meditation, the house still a mess, and not planning the week’s menu or organizing my closet as I know I should. All these things erode my sense of satisfaction and fulfillment and leave me feeling the need for an external source of pleasure, peace, soothing, and validation.

How many of us (perhaps food being substituted for the screen, cigarettes, alcohol, sex, shopping, etc.) are in this very same predicament?

I am learning to question my “hunger”.

Thuso Masikhwa is a former Engineering Manager, Writer, and Entrepreneur. She lives in South Africa with her husband and four daughters. You can reach Thuso at tmasikhwa.bm@gmail.com.